Why are men so testerical?
The objectification of men—for men, by men
I started balding in my twenties. Widow’s peak, sure, but also the parietal region—a 5 on the Norwood Scale. I opted for a Bic, especially since I wear baseball hats daily. After a few bloody incidents with a straight-edge, I finally found an electric razor that worked.
I stopped shaving my head about a year ago, roughly 17 years after starting. Plenty of dudes keep a tight, respectable look at all stages of baldness. Given my general disregard for what’s on top of my head, I wasn’t concerned about ever striving for a combover. I like where I’ve ended up, and will continue to adjust as I age.
But wow, does Hims want me to regrow my hair. And get better erections. And trim my belly fat, despite the fact that I’m at peace with it after a long struggle with an eating disorder. That bit of annual eczema that plagues my upper lip every winter? They got something for that, too.
They eve got things for other things. One of the side effects of their minoxidil (aka generic Rogaine) and finasteride cocktail is erectile dysfunction. If you’re stressing out over regaining what’s lost on top, they’ll take care of what’s going on below. It’s a very holistic model.
So holistic, in fact, Hims mimics much of the broader “wellness” industry: make you feel like shit about your body, then sell something to solve a problem that probably isn’t a problem.
Of course, Hims takes no issue selling pharmaceuticals, unlike wellness influencers who rage against PHARMA at every turn. Still, they’re aligned with Big Wellness with their disdain for Big Conventional Healthcare, because even though they have the advantage of pimping FDA-approved drugs, they’re all about sticking it to the man, man.
Holistic like this as well: Hims will sell you plenty of untested supplements.
Wellness gummies? Check.
Anxiety tinctures? Of course.
Collagen powder? Why not.
Playing all angles is good business. But what about health?
As The Atlantic notes, that appears to be a secondary concern. Maybe tertiary. Creating a loyal customer base—currently 2 million regulars and a $9 billion market cap—is first and foremost. If that means exploiting male fears, no problem.
Since Hims’s founding in 2017, the company has been pointing toward a very particular future, one in which the word patient is interchangeable with customer. The Hims brand has primed people to view both their everyday health and the natural-aging processes as problems that can be tweaked and optimized—as if it were peddling operating-system updates for the human body.
I’m aware the same model is applied to Hers, but Dr Jen Gunter already framed that perfectly (though they’ve dealt with this shit well before social media, of course).
Fears become rage
I’m focusing on Hims because I’m a man who grew up with body image issues for which I was bullied for. I intimately understand their target audience. Fifteen years ago, I might have even become a customer—and, to be clear, I’m not begrudging anyone for doing so, regardless of gender. Self-improvement is a personal choice we each make, and others probably don’t care about the things I focus on.
Exploiting bodily fears to sell products that may or may not work is another story.
Thing is, insecurities have arguably been easier to exploit on social media than ever before, at least for men. Maybe especially for men. Women have endured unfair predilections, assumptions, and outright disdain from male culture for—well, how long do we have? On any given day, I’ll see posts from dudes shaming women for their “body count” and skimpy dressing, then the same dudes complain when women dress too conservatively. (Most of these bros appear in my feed thanks to the incredible work by Clare Brown, which is where I borrowed the term “testerical” from).
Body shaming stereotypes are being challenged by a growing number of women, thankfully. My wife shared this video about de-centering the male gaze last week, which puts it into perspective:
Women dressing in ways that empower them—or that they simply enjoy—is, well, I was about to writing something to be celebrated, but honestly it’s just common sense. But men don’t always display this skill. The Trump administration is currently doing everything possible to steal back as much bodily autonomy as possible from women, so a backslide is possible, if we allow it.
The other side of this equation is—and always has been—male insecurities. Perhaps they remained more hidden from scrutiny before social media put them on blast. It’s really the same tactics I recall from youth: the blustering bullies are still the weakest and most emotionally stunted people.
That’s at the extreme. In the middle is an entire cohort of men chasing a perceived status quo, which demands a growing number of cosmetic surgeries: liposuction, rhinoplasty, gynecomastia surgery, botox, fillers, hair transplants, and jawline enhancements are all increasing.
Whether men feel pressured to “upgrade” through biohacking and optimization podcasts, relentless online marketing, or simple old peer pressure, the data are clear. We’re doing a lot more of it, and it seems to be accelerating our insecurities.
To reiterate: if a little nip or tuck is your thing, no harm, no foul. But I wonder where self-acceptance and graceful aging enter the picture? Sure, those messages are out there, but nowhere near the level of fear-based sales pitches, which algorithms appear both designed to exploit and happy to monetize.
This is all a circle, however: companies and influencers wouldn’t be selling those messages if they didn’t work. Like in the wellness industry, messages of acceptance and inner peace just don’t make much money. Now when there’s so much to “fix.”
Which is why Hims went all-in on with their don’t be a fattie, dude Super Bowl ad. They clearly stole a page from wellness marketing, blaming “the system” for your obesity. Which system? You choose: healthcare, food, pharma, whatever. An image speaks louder than discernment.
While I’m a fan of semaglutide products for weight loss (as they’ve been shown to be quite helpful for weight loss and even, potentially, addiction), Hims disregarded those pesky disclaimers that pharmaceutical companies are beholden to while weaponizing a very MAHA-esque marketing message—and response, when criticized.
On Friday, Senators Dick Durbin, a Democrat, and Roger Marshall, a Republican, sent a letter to acting FDA Commissioner Sara Brenner stating that Hims’s “Sick of the System” commercial “risks misleading patients by omitting any safety or side effect information” about an injectable weight-loss medication that appears in the ad. In response, a Hims spokesperson told me in an email, “We are complying with existing law and are looking forward to continuing working with Congress and the new Administration to fix the broken health system.” The person went on to imply that the company’s critics are defending the status quo. “The ad calls out industries that are part of a system that fails to prioritize the health of Americans,” the spokesperson said. “And now these industries are asking to shut the ad down.”
Actually, the senators were just asking for the same level of oversight that pharmaceutical companies must adhere to. Instead of complying, Hims went on the attack with wellness jujitsu.
There’s another layer of egregiousness here: wellness influencers often use low-quality or early stage clinical evidence of supplements to make all sorts of wild health claims. In this case, Hims is using actual evidence (which they spent zero dollars conducting), using the clinical legitimacy of these products to compound their own versions while sidestepping legislative burdens the companies they’re stealing from had to follow.
But hey, they’re really “upending the status quo” some thing something...which is really just code for “oh, shit, pharma created a product that might help with a range of issues that improves self-esteem and health outcomes—our market!”
Sadly, we can expect more of this now that the Ozempic-loathing RFK Jr is running every health agency in America. I wasn’t surprised when news broke that, when transferring the “Make America Healthy Again” LLC to fellow anti-vaxxer Del Bigtree, “vaccines” were included as a service.
Kennedy in December transferred ownership of the trademark application for the slogan and its abbreviation — MAHA — to an LLC managed by Del Bigtree, who, like Kennedy, has disparaged vaccines. While Kennedy had initially applied to secure a trademark for the slogan for merchandise and websites, the LLC applied for an additional trademark that could be used for vaccines, supplements, vitamins, essential oils and cryptocurrency.
This comes from the same playbook as discredited physician Andrew Wakefield, who took out two patents on vaccines while inventing the myth that the MMR vaccine causes autism.
Selling your own “reliable” vaccines after spending years discrediting those on the market is good business. But like the entire Hims business model, it’s terrible for health.
And forget about ethics—that was never a thought.